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I’m Back!

I sincerely apologize for the long delay. I haven’t updated since April, when I posted the rough draft for my book, “Two Girls, One Schmuck”. The book is now available on Amazon, and has been since June!




So what’s been going on with me not posting? Well, I started working full-time in April, got a girlfriend, and now live in my own home. Lots has changed! I’m finally cut from the umbilical cord, out of my diaper, and on my own. It takes up a lot of time, takes a lot out of you, and before you know it, six months goes by and you wonder where the time went. Honestly, to me, it feels like six days.

I’m going to start updating this site as much as possible. My laptop is a piece of shit and I don’t have a PC in my home, so I have to get to a library computer to update. I’m working on getting a new laptop in the near future. Fear not, the updates will come and they’ll come more frequently. I owe it to you folks for taking the time to check out all the crazy shit on this blog. Actually, you know what, screw it. I’m going to post a few things on here today.

I think I’ve had enough time off.

Two Girls, One Schmuck: The (ROUGH) Cover!

Ladies and gents, I know I haven’t been updating as much, but there’s a reason for that. I’ve been focusing on the publication of my first book, “Two Girls, One Schmuck” which will be out real soon! I don’t wanna give an exact time frame because there’s still quite a few things that need to be done. Editing is a bitch, especially when I have to read everything word-for-word over and over and over and over. Since folks will be spending their hard-earned money on this thing, I wanna make sure it’s as great as it can possibly be. I do think the editing is about done, though; on the inside, that is.

The actual text of the book, the “meat” so to speak, is just about done. Now it’s all about putting the finishing touches on the cover and the design for the back of the book. I need to give my tax info over to since I’m gunna be making some money on this. Yeah, it’s a bitch the profits from MY work (my first BOOK!) are going to be taxed, but I have to follow the rules like everyone else I guess. I just can’t help but feel like some money is going to be stolen from me in the way of taxes. I still have to go over the details on that with Wesley, but that’s the impression I’m getting and I’m probably going to be right. Unfortunately.

But let’s not let Uncle Sam ruin this party! I bring you the ROUGH cover for “Two Girls, One Schmuck”. The cover was designed by my dear friend and fellow author Wesley Attwood and let me tell you, I think it looks great. Aside from things we’re going to fix like a little blip in the upper-left corner (where you can see double brick walls and double trees) and the jagged nature of the silhouette images themselves, this is pretty much what the cover will look like when it’s all said and done. I love the black and white scheme, and I especially love the silhouettes of the lovely ladies. No, these aren’t actual images of Princess and Cinderella. That would be a lawsuit waiting to happen. They do look pretty damn sexy, though. Whoever thought computer generated images could be so hott?

For those of you who don’t know by now, that’s a photo of yours truly smack dab in the middle. Wesley snapped this photo of me mid-sentence last year while we were sitting outside of Starbucks. Apparently lot of folks on Facebook found this photo to be either strikingly cute, humorously creepy, or both because it’s received over 50 Likes. I hope this book gets over 50 BUYS! That would be incredible. “Two Girls, One Schmuck” will be available SOON on for only $10. Pick up a hard copy or snatch it for your Kindle! You will NOT be disappointed.


Interview with “Dances with the Kachina” author The Dark One

I can’t think of many people that have been there for me as much as Wesley Attwood. Over the past 5 years, Wesley has supported me through my toughest days, stood alongside me during my happiest moments, given me countless hours of his time for advice, and has been the most loyal son of a bitch I know. I could go on for days about the person Wesley is, the things he’s done for me, and the times we’ve shared over the years, but I’d like to spotlight what I believe is his greatest accomplishment to date; his first book, “Dances with the Kachina: A Compendium of Poetic Thoughts” published in August by and available NOW through here:

Under the pen name “The Dark One”, Wesley has crafted a true masterpiece of raw emotion, covering a wide range of topics that leave the reader both enjoying the simple things in life on its surface and looking at it a little more deeply. I’m proud to present to you my recent interview with The Dark One.

This book covers such a wide range of topics. Everything from love to self reflection to whacky college professors to elder abuse. When you come across these things in life, do you find it therapeutic to write about them? One of the reasons I started blogging so often was because it’s a calming feeling for me to let my thoughts run free on paper, so to speak.

I find it extremely therapeutic to write about things in my daily life. Writing allows me to express my emotions about certain topics or situations.

What got you into writing in the first place? When did you start?

I started writing poetry in middle school. During an English class, I was given an assignment to write five poems about various topics. Before this, I had always admired poetry for the feelings and emotions it can provoke, but I never really thought I had something good enough to write about. So after completing the project I found that poetry came very naturally as long as I had a feeling or subject that I was passionate enough to write about in mind. Also, my father, in his private life, is an excellent artist with a paint brush, a stanza or words, or even with models, so I was very inspired by him and his works over the years. After that middle school class, I didn’t really start writing too much until I met my first girlfriend. That is when I discovered the art of Romance in word form.

How many years worth of material is in this book?

There is three years’ worth of material in this book.

What made you decide to turn this material into a book?

Many of my friends proposed that I put some of my works into a book and publish it. People often see my notes on Facebook with my poems, so a lot of it was my friends’ suggestions, but the rest was a dedication to the Kachina and the inspiration that she is.

You told me when this book was coming out that these aren’t actually all of your works. Why not just publish everything and lay it all out there?

The reason I do not publish all my works is because there are many that are extremely personal to me. Many have a very deep and personal connection and I’d rather keep those to myself.

Where did you come up with the title Dances with Kachina: A Compendium of Poetic Thoughts? Are these really just thoughts of yours that you write down onto paper and make them into a kind of story?

The title is directly taken from one of the poems titled “Dances With the Kachina”. The title refers to my encounters and experiences with the Kachina. The Kachina is not only a person whom which I have experienced a lot with, but the Kachina is also the idea of art and inspiration. You could say that the Kachina is the muse in my life. Some of the poems are just thoughts put down on paper, but most are about actual memories, emotions, dreams, or experiences I have.

What is your relationship like with your real life Kachina? It must be pretty special for you to have her on the cover of the book as well.

The real life Kachina is my best friend. She is the best friend anyone could ever hope for. She has been there with me through many things. We even traveled across the planet together one summer. So the Kachina is someone I truly love and am inspired by every day.


How would you classify your style of writing? What are the main things you focus on as far as themes, messages, etc.?

For the most part, I would classify my poetry as free verse. There are occasions where I write sonnets or even other forms of poetry, but it all really depends on what I am writing about and how it comes out. In my poetry I focus mainly on life, love, and the state of mind. I enjoy writing about my own and others’ perspectives within life and daily life. Many of the topics recur through simple phrases or words within various poems.

What are some of your favorite pieces by other authors? Any favorite authors?

Some of my favorite authors would be Sara Teasdale, Alexander Pushkin, and of course Sixto Diaz Rodriguez. Many music artists such as Rodriguez, in my opinion, are poets and thus have my admiration as well for not only their music, but their words.

Do those said authors influence the way you write? If so, how?

Sara Teasdale has always inspired me to write about simplicity. Throughout my poems I mention the “cup of tea” or “the hands holding the cup”. This, to me, is a direct reference to the simplicity of life and the beauty within that simplicity. After reading Sara’s work throughout the years, I’ve been able to see and write about the small things in our day-to-day lives and how these small things hold so much beauty. Rodriguez has been a lifelong inspiration for just about everything. Rodriguez wrote and sang about life, poverty, love, injustice, and perspectives. Out of anyone’s words I’ve read in my life, he has to be the biggest inspiration I have. A lot of his work has contributed to my personal feelings about love and romance.

As for your own writing, what are some of your favorite entries in the book and why?

I cannot really pick one I like more than another because, for me, most of the poems I write pertain to my life or experiences/memories. But if I were to choose I would say that my favorite entries are “12:53”, “Absent Earth”, “Fond Memories of Days In Your Bliss”, and “Prison of Melody”. I pick these because they each signify a great or extraordinary experience in my life which has contributed to my development in my life. These instances have given me some kind of feelings or enlightenment which has aided me overall in my opinion.

How did you come up with the titles for each piece?

For each piece I generally use a word that sums up the poem unless I have a title in mind. For a lot of the poems it’s very difficult to give them a title so I often find the title the hardest part.

You mention in the foreword that the poems in the beginning of the book are “simple or silly at times” but as you keep reading the pieces “become deeper and more intense”. You mention that this is the result of a “personal change” in how you expressed yourself or even a change of your writing abilities. Can you elaborate on that?

I believe that over the years I have gained a lot of understanding for the world around me directly and how I perceive it. I believe that my perceptions are captured in my poetry by how simple life can be seen to how deep it can be at times.

Why do you call yourself The Dark One?

I use the Dark One as my pen name because that was the nickname I was always given by the Kachina since we first met. I don’t like to be melodramatic but I do like the idea of darkness and the mystery within it. As I may describe in some of my poems, darkness is a place of solace, reason, and understanding where one can reflect upon life. I feel as if I should be more in touch with any dark label than anything pertaining to light and completely seen.

What should people know about The Dark One and his poetic thoughts?

People should know that the Dark One writes about the things that are important to him. The poetic thoughts aren’t always straightforward and sometimes don’t have a meaning, but the meaning is in the eyes of the reader.

Music is such an important part of your life. You write about it quite a bit in the book and you’re also in a band called Losing Time as the percussionist.

Music is one of my biggest inspirations. I have played percussion and other various instruments for most of my life. I also love to sing. I find great relaxation and expression in music, which essentially is poetry in a different form. Music can define emotions or anything, and I like to reference it in my writings.

Any more books on the horizon? Are you still writing? What’s on your mind these days?

I was thinking about putting together another book if I really had the motivation to do so. I generally write a poem a day or more. I’m always writing and, regardless of any publishing, I believe I will always be writing. I still am writing about love, romance, life, and the mind these days.

You’re one of my best friends in the entire world. We’ve been close buddies for over 5 years now and I feel we just become closer over time. I enjoyed every page of this book and can’t wait for possible future tomes! Thanks for including me in the foreword!

You and I have been very close for the past years and I’m honored to have you as a friend. I really glad you enjoyed my book and I hope you enjoyed the writings within. Thank you for your friendship and for buying a copy.

“Dances with the Kachina: A Compendium of Poetic Thoughts” is AVAILABLE NOW through Amazon for less than $6. I’ll give you the link AGAIN!

You all should definitely pick up a copy of The Dark One’s first book. Go ahead and squeak out a couple bucks. You won’t be disappointed! “Dances with the Kachina” is one of the best purchases I’ve made in a long time. I wouldn’t have dedicated an entire blog entry to this if I didn’t have the utmost faith in this man. Wesley is not only a fantastic writer, but a a brilliant, creative, loyal, and kind man with an endless amount of talent and heart.

Follow The Dark One on Twitter @JohanVanRiebeec

Follow me on Twitter @SullyShow17



2014, Here I Come!

What’s happenin’, y’all? It’s been awhile. I’m attempting this blog entry on my home computer, so wish me luck. If you see any weird spaces and/or your laptop/iPhone/Mac/PC starts to burn up, well…sorry about that. I can’t believe 2013 is history already. Seems like every year goes by so quickly, but 2013 shot by like a ROCKET. I wish everyone a happy, healthy, productive 2014. There were some things I could have done differently, and I still have LOTS to work on (including, but not limited to, updating this website more often and finding a FULL-TIME job!) but one thing won’t change: I’m very grateful for the life I have. Could it be better? Always. Am I in control of it? No question about it. I am the captain of my own ship. I decide where it sails from here on out. Here’s to clearer waters and brighter skies!

Here was the scene at Hard Rock Cafe Pittsburgh when midnight arrived to ring in 2014. Notice the couple at the very bottom of the photo. What a passionate smooch, right? Thing is, this cougar kept looking at me the whole night, so could I have been on her mind at the time? We’ll never know. Her interaction toward him seemed force, but they both had wedding rings on, so I’m going out on a limb to assume they’re married to EACH OTHER. Maybe it was my fantasy with her that was forced. I wouldn’t be lying if I said I wish my tongue was in her mouth rather than Waldo Goes Corporate.

Hard Rock

What I hope will be the last chapter to “I’m With You, Kinda Sorta” will be released this month. The one-year anniversary of this site is January 16, so I may shoot for that as a release date. I’ve always wanted this to be a WEEKLY, entertaining blog about anything and everything. I want people guessing as to what the topic is going to be about. Sometimes the topics are a hit (see any story about my personal life), and sometimes they’re not (see any story that’s NOT about my personal life). It’s just what’s on my mind at the time. It is about anything and everything, but I’m lacking on the weekly part. I hope to at least get somewhat on board with that in 2014.

I have so many ideas floating around in my head it’s disgusting. The challenging part for me is actually carrying out those ideas. I want to start a band (the only thing I could offer is my beautiful shower voice), a podcasting network (to cover the major areas of life in general: politics, sports, movies, music), write a fiction piece (since all my material so far has been non-fiction) and even expand this blog to maybe someday include some other voices besides my own. Notice I said MAYBE. It’s a thought, but since it IS and titled “Sully Says” and since I pay to maintain the domain name, I might just stick with my words. Not sure yet, but it’s something to think about. I’m in the beginning planning stages of Sully’s Totally-Not-Winter Classic 3. Get ready Black Attack and Green Machine, it’s gunna be another great series! Let’s win at least one this year, Machine. I love you guys.

I’m certainly all over the map with my thoughts and actions and who knows if any of those ideas I rattled off above will come to fruition, but I definitely wanna find at least some direction in 2014. I can’t say I’m unhappy with my life, but I definitely could be a whole lot happier. And more productive. An old friend posted this ancient photo on Facebook recently and it brought a smile to my face:


No, I’m not the one in the middle. I’m actually the one on the right. I was around 6 years old and thought I was a ladies man. Okay, maybe I was. Probably the only 6-year-old kid in the entire Catholic school system that wasn’t a virgin when it came to an actual makeout sesh. I swear I was attacked in the backseat on the way to kindergarten (or was it preschool?) one morning by an eager lady friend. So happy, so full of life, so innocent. I want to get back to those days. Well, I guess we can forget about the innocent part, but the happy and full of life part needs to come back. I think it will. It takes time, but each day I try to figure out a tiny bit more about myself and where I’m going.

Growing up sucks, but it doesn’t mean you can’t have fun every day doing at least one thing that you love. Life is entirely too short to not be happy. If you’re doing something just for the money, but you’re a miserable bitch, you’re doing something wrong. If you’re doing something you love and not making that much money, but you’re entirely happy, who’s to judge that? In this day and age, it’s all about being better than and having more money than the next guy. I hope to have millions one day, but it has to come along with doing something I’m in love with. That’s why I’m taking my time and seeing what’s out there FOR ME. I’m not gunna take a job and make a couple more bucks an hour just to say I have full-time work, and then be miserable. I work part-time right now making decent money at a job I really like and certainly don’t wanna lose it, so I wanna play my cards right.

Don’t worry, I’m not gunna suddenly start charging for this blog…

Follow me on Twitter @SullyShow17


Grumps & Bumps

I can’t help but notice how straight-up miserable some people are. We as a society have no respect for our fellow citizens anymore. You hold the door open, and the person doesn’t even look at you, let alone say thank you. You smile at someone (particularly at the opposite sex) and they think you’re up to no good, that you must want something from them. Common decency has become something foreign, a thing of the past. As time goes on, I think two things: 1) this gigantic cloud of general unhappiness is only going to get worse and 2) happy days will NEVER be here again.

Sure, technology plays a part in all this. Millions of people all over the world, let alone this country, practically LIVE on Twitter, Facebook, and other (what I would deem useless) forms of social media like Instagram and this new one called Vine. The amazing new fad known as Vine allows users to record 6-second videos, mostly silly ones, and upload them to the site so other users can watch them. Great, huh? Why didn’t I think of that? Sure, I have both Facebook and Twitter (follow me @SullySocial17) but I don’t spend every waking moment of every day using them. I swear, I don’t know how some people get anything done during the day or even have a job. They’re literally always on. Maybe it’s my ADD, but I wouldn’t be able to function properly using social media the way some people do.

Anyways, I digress.

This post isn’t about social media. Or taking silly videos with your brand new iPhone. This post is about people. The people we spend our lives with every day. A lot of them are strangers. Miserable strangers. Strangers that are afraid to look one another in the eye. Or even be of aid to another fellow citizen. When one of those people does in fact do something nice for someone else, it’s almost a strange occurrence. For me, it is a strange occurrence. We’ve become so absorbed with ourselves that we forget about others. We’re so absorbed in trying to make ourselves look the best, have the most money, the nicest car, the fancy purses, the stud earrings, that when someone, even one person has nicer things, or better yet a nicer heart, we cast them out.

Society is intimidated. Society is afraid. Intimidated and afraid of anyone having anything “better” than them.  I say “them” because I often feel on the outside looking in as far as “general population”. No, I’m not in prison or anything like that, but I may as well be. I’m a 23-year-old college graduate that has a beautiful car, loving parents (who sometimes drive me absolutely insane), a loving sister (who in my opinion sometimes needs an attitude adjustment), a nice home (that I’d love to get out of ASAP), a great family (that I don’t see nearly as often as I’d like), and what I hope to be a very bright future. I don’t think I’m bad-looking, either. I could probably get just about any girl I wanted, but I don’t want that. Notice I said just about any girl I wanted. Keeping it humble here.

The majority of people I surround myself with don’t even have half of what I do. That’s not to say I’m better or more deserving than them. It’s just a simple fact. But that doesn’t mean they need to hold that against me. I didn’t ask for any of this or get anything handed to me. I worked for all of it. Every single bit of it. And I worked damn hard. But in society’s eyes, that’s not enough. It’s not enough to have things and be proud of them. You have to be better. Tougher. Hotter. Smarter. Ya gotta beat the next guy or gal coming through the door. I’d say I have what matters most. A heart.

I’ve had my heart broken by several people. I won’t get into that here, but I’ve blogged about it in the recent past (check out the archives, nukka). I’m finding myself increasingly shutting out people, particularly women. Not giving them a chance. Not even making eye contact. I’m finding myself being dragged down to the societal majority’s level and it’s terrifying me. But what’s a man to do? I try to be nice and open myself up just a bit, and get burned. Burned like Michael Jackson’s head of hair in that Pepsi commercial way back when. I so badly want to make conversation with more people, but I just can’t. Through so many years of being burned, that confidence was shattered. Hopefully not forever, but for the past few years at least. I want to get this back more than you know. People do deserve a chance. I talk with many friendly people on a daily basis (in person and yes…via the computer) that I would love to spend more time with. I have to give people a chance, but then again they have to give me a chance too. Works both ways.

society 1

Today at the doctor’s office a 30-something-year-old woman and her young daughter were in front of me in line. I have no idea what they were doing, or what the hold-up was, but I stood there for at least five minutes. The first couple of minutes I was fine, but once it hit the four or five-minute mark and no one was progressing and moving the line, I started to get agitated. No one turned around apologizing for the delay, no one even acknowledged I was standing there…until the receptionist asked me, “Are you here for an appointment?” I quickly shot back “No, just wanna pay my bill” and she directed me to the other desk in the hallway. The woman working the other desk is very kind. I’ve seen her all the years I’ve been coming to that office.

She very politely said something to the effect of, “I apologize for the wait. Thanks for your patience.” I shot back, “Patience is a virtue, eh?” She seemed both surprised and amused at my response and said, “Yes…yes it is.” By that point, I was holding resentment toward that woman who was with her daughter for holding up the line. For delaying me, even if it was just for 5 minutes or less. I know I shouldn’t have, but I did, and it makes me feel horrible when I do hold resentment toward people that most likely don’t deserve it. It’s just an instant kind of reaction. I need to do a better job with it oftentimes. It more than likely wasn’t the woman’s fault. Paperwork is a bitch. But still, it just got to me that she didn’t even look at me or say anything in the way of “I’m gunna be awhile.” But hey, she doesn’t owe me a damn thing, right? We’re strangers. Courtesy? Please.

I know I’m sort of all over the place here but bear with me. I know I’m probably going to get ripped for saying this, but I almost feel too damn good for my own good, or anyone else’s good for that matter. No one wants a clean-cut, handsome, intelligent, hardworking, successful, somewhat quirky man nowadays. No way. They want a person on a much lesser level than that. A balding, tattooed, somewhat foul-mouthed, degrading lump of a man that doesn’t have anything in his life together and is a general mess comes to mind. Don’t ask me why. But that’s okay. It boosts the other person’s confidence. It boosts their self-worth. Being around people like that makes everything alright. It’s safe. His badass nature makes her wet. I’ll take the big dick and amazing often rough sex over the kind, genuinely decent guy that maybe doesn’t have as big a dick and isn’t as sexually experienced any day.

Why? Well, I’m glad you asked. The badass (we’ll call him Dick…go ahead and laugh now) makes her feel good about herself physically and emotionally (even if it’s superficial and temporary and she knows it). Dick might often treat her like a piece of human shit, but he’s damn good in the bedroom and feeds her money. On the other hand, the good guy (we’ll call him Ree Tard) might be attractive and successful, but could never really match Dick in the way of being unpredictable and downright badass. Ree Tard has everything you could want in a man and more, but there’s just something about that Dick. Dick isn’t “perfect” like Ree Tard. That Ree Tard always looks nice in public, wears nice clothes, carries himself with confidence, which makes the woman feel inferior. Ree Tard doesn’t kiss the woman’s ass and tells her everything she wants to hear, only to cheat on her constantly. Ree Tard talks to her like a fellow human being. He doesn’t sugarcoat.

Ree Tard is the outcast. Ree Tard is the guy finishing last. Ree Tard loses. The Dicks of the world prevail and are intimidated by anyone even coming close to putting a bump in their armor. Dicks include men and women. Even children. The younger crowd nowadays is the most disgusting. They’re so wrapped up in their pot, their coke, their alcohol abuse, their blowjobs and quick fucks that anyone that’s not interested in that is deemed an oddball. They’re forgotten about. No matter how nice the other person is and how hard they try to just be a friend, it’s just not gunna happen. It’s all about ME ME ME. Who gives a shit about you?

what happened

I guess it all boils down to a few things. We’re all surrounded on a daily basis by those trying to be better than the other. Flashy cars, hi-tech gadgets, grossly expensive jewelry, etc. that we can’t help but at least attempt to match that. Therefore, our constant life struggle to maintain some sense of self-worth is met with an ever-present cloud of misery. Fuck that guy. Fuck that girl. I don’t owe him shit. Not even a smile. Not even a thank you. It’s all about ME ME ME. When a lot of us do finally have achieve some sense of self-comfort we feel safe in this society. Then along comes the guy that is a match for you. Hell, he might even be a whole lot better than you in the grand scheme of things. Therefore, there’s no point in hanging out with him or even getting to know him. He’s weird. He’s annoying. He thinks he’s perfect, that Ree Tard. Well, shit, maybe compared to you he is. But how would you know?

Society has become a caffeine-fueled, technology-driven, material-hungry rat race. Shit, it’s been going on a long time, so many are just okay with it. It’s safe. They don’t have to do anything about it other than continue to be their own pathetic selves. I don’t care. I’m not okay with it. I don’t go with it. I go against it. I will not change the way I am for anyone or anything. Unfortunately, I’m sure millions of the Dicks in the world are saying the exact same thing. I hope that one day this overall mindset will at least start to change. We need more Ree Tards. But with the way it’s looking now, it’s not looking good. That’s for damn sure. I’m Sully. I’m the weirdo. Nice to meet you. We should chill sometime.


Anal Nature

Due to a combination of my OCD, some reader feedback, and a dedication to honesty at all times, I want to explain the difference in font for a few of my recent entries. You’ll notice that the font for the first paragraph of “Have Mercy On Me” and the last two paragraphs of “I’m With You, Kinda Sorta: The End” appears to be different.

And well…that’s because it is.

I didn’t intend for that to happen. The reason for this is because those paragraphs were copied from my Facebook page directly onto this website. I’m not necessarily tech-savvy, so I don’t know exactly why this happened. I’m guessing it’s because the default font on here is different than the default font on Facebook?

I just didn’t want you all to think I scoured the web for good stuff that other people wrote. Everything on here comes 110% from me, from the heart. Those paragraphs were not plagiarized. They were just Facebook statuses of mine that I copied and pasted onto here. You’re probably thinking, “I knew that. Why is he telling us this?”

Once it was pointed out to me by a reader, it bothered me a lot. I want this website to be as close to perfect as humanly possible. Things like this happen. No, I won’t be shutting the site down and no, I won’t be offing myself out of despair. I just needed to get this off my chest. My site is going stronger than ever, and readership is way up.

My sincere thanks to each and every one of you for giving your time to read the stuff I put on here. It really means a lot to me. It’s only gunna get better from here so I deeply encourage you to subscribe (or “Follow”) so you don’t miss a thing. Just click on the “Gimme More Sully” link on the left side of the page.

Thanks for your time, dear readers.