I can’t help but notice how straight-up miserable some people are. We as a society have no respect for our fellow citizens anymore. You hold the door open, and the person doesn’t even look at you, let alone say thank you. You smile at someone (particularly at the opposite sex) and they think you’re up to no good, that you must want something from them. Common decency has become something foreign, a thing of the past. As time goes on, I think two things: 1) this gigantic cloud of general unhappiness is only going to get worse and 2) happy days will NEVER be here again.
Sure, technology plays a part in all this. Millions of people all over the world, let alone this country, practically LIVE on Twitter, Facebook, and other (what I would deem useless) forms of social media like Instagram and this new one called Vine. The amazing new fad known as Vine allows users to record 6-second videos, mostly silly ones, and upload them to the site so other users can watch them. Great, huh? Why didn’t I think of that? Sure, I have both Facebook and Twitter (follow me @SullySocial17) but I don’t spend every waking moment of every day using them. I swear, I don’t know how some people get anything done during the day or even have a job. They’re literally always on. Maybe it’s my ADD, but I wouldn’t be able to function properly using social media the way some people do.
Anyways, I digress.
This post isn’t about social media. Or taking silly videos with your brand new iPhone. This post is about people. The people we spend our lives with every day. A lot of them are strangers. Miserable strangers. Strangers that are afraid to look one another in the eye. Or even be of aid to another fellow citizen. When one of those people does in fact do something nice for someone else, it’s almost a strange occurrence. For me, it is a strange occurrence. We’ve become so absorbed with ourselves that we forget about others. We’re so absorbed in trying to make ourselves look the best, have the most money, the nicest car, the fancy purses, the stud earrings, that when someone, even one person has nicer things, or better yet a nicer heart, we cast them out.
Society is intimidated. Society is afraid. Intimidated and afraid of anyone having anything “better” than them. I say “them” because I often feel on the outside looking in as far as “general population”. No, I’m not in prison or anything like that, but I may as well be. I’m a 23-year-old college graduate that has a beautiful car, loving parents (who sometimes drive me absolutely insane), a loving sister (who in my opinion sometimes needs an attitude adjustment), a nice home (that I’d love to get out of ASAP), a great family (that I don’t see nearly as often as I’d like), and what I hope to be a very bright future. I don’t think I’m bad-looking, either. I could probably get just about any girl I wanted, but I don’t want that. Notice I said just about any girl I wanted. Keeping it humble here.
The majority of people I surround myself with don’t even have half of what I do. That’s not to say I’m better or more deserving than them. It’s just a simple fact. But that doesn’t mean they need to hold that against me. I didn’t ask for any of this or get anything handed to me. I worked for all of it. Every single bit of it. And I worked damn hard. But in society’s eyes, that’s not enough. It’s not enough to have things and be proud of them. You have to be better. Tougher. Hotter. Smarter. Ya gotta beat the next guy or gal coming through the door. I’d say I have what matters most. A heart.
I’ve had my heart broken by several people. I won’t get into that here, but I’ve blogged about it in the recent past (check out the archives, nukka). I’m finding myself increasingly shutting out people, particularly women. Not giving them a chance. Not even making eye contact. I’m finding myself being dragged down to the societal majority’s level and it’s terrifying me. But what’s a man to do? I try to be nice and open myself up just a bit, and get burned. Burned like Michael Jackson’s head of hair in that Pepsi commercial way back when. I so badly want to make conversation with more people, but I just can’t. Through so many years of being burned, that confidence was shattered. Hopefully not forever, but for the past few years at least. I want to get this back more than you know. People do deserve a chance. I talk with many friendly people on a daily basis (in person and yes…via the computer) that I would love to spend more time with. I have to give people a chance, but then again they have to give me a chance too. Works both ways.
Today at the doctor’s office a 30-something-year-old woman and her young daughter were in front of me in line. I have no idea what they were doing, or what the hold-up was, but I stood there for at least five minutes. The first couple of minutes I was fine, but once it hit the four or five-minute mark and no one was progressing and moving the line, I started to get agitated. No one turned around apologizing for the delay, no one even acknowledged I was standing there…until the receptionist asked me, “Are you here for an appointment?” I quickly shot back “No, just wanna pay my bill” and she directed me to the other desk in the hallway. The woman working the other desk is very kind. I’ve seen her all the years I’ve been coming to that office.
She very politely said something to the effect of, “I apologize for the wait. Thanks for your patience.” I shot back, “Patience is a virtue, eh?” She seemed both surprised and amused at my response and said, “Yes…yes it is.” By that point, I was holding resentment toward that woman who was with her daughter for holding up the line. For delaying me, even if it was just for 5 minutes or less. I know I shouldn’t have, but I did, and it makes me feel horrible when I do hold resentment toward people that most likely don’t deserve it. It’s just an instant kind of reaction. I need to do a better job with it oftentimes. It more than likely wasn’t the woman’s fault. Paperwork is a bitch. But still, it just got to me that she didn’t even look at me or say anything in the way of “I’m gunna be awhile.” But hey, she doesn’t owe me a damn thing, right? We’re strangers. Courtesy? Please.
I know I’m sort of all over the place here but bear with me. I know I’m probably going to get ripped for saying this, but I almost feel too damn good for my own good, or anyone else’s good for that matter. No one wants a clean-cut, handsome, intelligent, hardworking, successful, somewhat quirky man nowadays. No way. They want a person on a much lesser level than that. A balding, tattooed, somewhat foul-mouthed, degrading lump of a man that doesn’t have anything in his life together and is a general mess comes to mind. Don’t ask me why. But that’s okay. It boosts the other person’s confidence. It boosts their self-worth. Being around people like that makes everything alright. It’s safe. His badass nature makes her wet. I’ll take the big dick and amazing often rough sex over the kind, genuinely decent guy that maybe doesn’t have as big a dick and isn’t as sexually experienced any day.
Why? Well, I’m glad you asked. The badass (we’ll call him Dick…go ahead and laugh now) makes her feel good about herself physically and emotionally (even if it’s superficial and temporary and she knows it). Dick might often treat her like a piece of human shit, but he’s damn good in the bedroom and feeds her money. On the other hand, the good guy (we’ll call him Ree Tard) might be attractive and successful, but could never really match Dick in the way of being unpredictable and downright badass. Ree Tard has everything you could want in a man and more, but there’s just something about that Dick. Dick isn’t “perfect” like Ree Tard. That Ree Tard always looks nice in public, wears nice clothes, carries himself with confidence, which makes the woman feel inferior. Ree Tard doesn’t kiss the woman’s ass and tells her everything she wants to hear, only to cheat on her constantly. Ree Tard talks to her like a fellow human being. He doesn’t sugarcoat.
Ree Tard is the outcast. Ree Tard is the guy finishing last. Ree Tard loses. The Dicks of the world prevail and are intimidated by anyone even coming close to putting a bump in their armor. Dicks include men and women. Even children. The younger crowd nowadays is the most disgusting. They’re so wrapped up in their pot, their coke, their alcohol abuse, their blowjobs and quick fucks that anyone that’s not interested in that is deemed an oddball. They’re forgotten about. No matter how nice the other person is and how hard they try to just be a friend, it’s just not gunna happen. It’s all about ME ME ME. Who gives a shit about you?
I guess it all boils down to a few things. We’re all surrounded on a daily basis by those trying to be better than the other. Flashy cars, hi-tech gadgets, grossly expensive jewelry, etc. that we can’t help but at least attempt to match that. Therefore, our constant life struggle to maintain some sense of self-worth is met with an ever-present cloud of misery. Fuck that guy. Fuck that girl. I don’t owe him shit. Not even a smile. Not even a thank you. It’s all about ME ME ME. When a lot of us do finally have achieve some sense of self-comfort we feel safe in this society. Then along comes the guy that is a match for you. Hell, he might even be a whole lot better than you in the grand scheme of things. Therefore, there’s no point in hanging out with him or even getting to know him. He’s weird. He’s annoying. He thinks he’s perfect, that Ree Tard. Well, shit, maybe compared to you he is. But how would you know?
Society has become a caffeine-fueled, technology-driven, material-hungry rat race. Shit, it’s been going on a long time, so many are just okay with it. It’s safe. They don’t have to do anything about it other than continue to be their own pathetic selves. I don’t care. I’m not okay with it. I don’t go with it. I go against it. I will not change the way I am for anyone or anything. Unfortunately, I’m sure millions of the Dicks in the world are saying the exact same thing. I hope that one day this overall mindset will at least start to change. We need more Ree Tards. But with the way it’s looking now, it’s not looking good. That’s for damn sure. I’m Sully. I’m the weirdo. Nice to meet you. We should chill sometime.