Sorry about the delay in posting. The seven-day schedule of being a full-time college student and a part-time worker can get in the way. But, after much anticipation, here’s part IV.
We decided to go watch the fireworks near South Hills Village. We watched them from a yard of one of the churches near there. I was laying down in the grass because I’m lazy, and Princess was sitting. I was laying on her lap and we were enjoying the moment. It was getting dark. The fireworks were about to begin.
All of a sudden, a boy that couldn’t have been any older than 3 rides his tricycle right in front of me, mostly blocking my view. I was laying down, so it made the kid look huge from my point of view, even though he wasn’t. I didn’t say anything. He’s just a kid and he’d probably move right away anyways.
Sure enough, almost instantly, his dad asks, “Is he in your way?” The kid was in my way, I was there to watch fireworks, the guy was asking me a question, and I’m an honest man. So, I said, “Yeah a little bit. If he could maybe just move a little to the right it’d be perfect.” So the guy says, “No problem. Sorry about that.” I reply, “Thanks a lot. Have a nice night.”
This was an innocent, pleasant exchange between two men in regards to a toddler riding his tricycle unknowingly while blocking someone’s view. Princess, in her ever-budding confidence, decides to embarrass me instead. Instead of letting this exchange between the toddler’s dad and I ride off into the sunset, I guess Princess thought she needed to take control. She needed some attention, so she belittled me and made herself feel proud.
“Oh my god,” Princess blurts out. “I can’t believe him (meaning me). I’m so sorry, your son is fine where he is. He’s not in the way at all, don’t listen to him. That’s so rude.” At this point, I felt like the size of an ant. The stranger actually took my side in the matter. I can’t say I’m proud of the stranger for doing so because it was common sense to take my side. Any person with common courtesy wouldn’t do what Princess did.
The guy said, mostly directed at Princess, “No, that’s why I was asking (if his son was blocking my way). He pulled right in front of you two.” I felt a sense of relief. A relief from the embarrassment thrown upon me by Princess. But not a complete sense of relief. This wasn’t the first time something like this happened.
Princess would berate me when I didn’t tip a bartender or waitress to her satisfaction. Princess believed everyone should leave a tip of $1 per drink, no matter if it was the best service or the worst. When we’d be out at a restaurant/bar and I was giving the server the tip at the end of the night, Princess would snap right in front of the server. “Look what he was going to give you!” she would say. “This is embarrassing, I can’t believe he was only going to give you THAT for a tip. I’m so sorry, he doesn’t believe in tipping but I always try telling him that you have to tip because that’s how we make a living.” Princess herself is a server, so she had an immediate bias.
True, I do not believe in tipping. (I’ll cover that in a separate blog post soon). But I still would tip, partly because I was afraid the next time I’d go back they’d spit in my food and/or drinks, and partly because I was afraid of being humiliated by Princess in front of a room full of total strangers. It wasn’t like I’d only leave a dollar or two at the end of the night. I’d leave what would probably be considered an average tip, anywhere between $5 and $8. Princess was looking for more of a $10-$15 tip.
I’ll say it again. I don’t believe in the concept of tipping and I’ll discuss it further in a near-future post. However, just because I don’t believe in it doesn’t mean I need to be publicly insulted and embarrassed because of it. It seemed like Princess would get off on making me feel dumb or small. She’d always say things like “Trust me, I’m older than you, I know” and “I apologize for him.”
She is older than me, but only by a couple years. Not exactly a huge age gap. She made it seem like she was at least 15 years my senior and that I basically knew nothing about anything. It didn’t necessarily make me feel good, which is how you’re supposed to make someone you care about feel. She made it seem like I was a toddler when she told people, mostly strangers that she had “to apologize” for me.
After all the digs and jabs that embarrassed me over those six or so months we were together (kinda sorta), the episode at the July 4th fireworks show really did it for me. She knew I was embarrassed, she knew I was bothered, yet she kept it up. I sometimes think the public felt bad for me when she’d go on one of her tirades about me not leaving enough money for the server.
No, I didn’t leave Princess right after she embarrassed me in front of a toddler at a fireworks show. Instead, I stayed with her and we cuddled and watched the fireworks and had a great time doing so. Afterward, we went to a restaurant nearby for some drinks. Our conversation was nice until something changed. Something very bad. I can’t remember what exactly brought it up (hey, it was over 7 months ago) but Princess was flapping her gums a little too much and slipped.
I finally dug it out of her. She tried not to tell me, but it didn’t work. Princess revealed that, during the time we were together (kinda sorta) she had sex with two different men. Sad thing was, one of the guys she boned was the guy who walked me to the bathroom on my drunken night I wrote about in part III. I knew who he was. I felt kinda sick. I felt kinda disgusted. But then again, I told Princess I’d never have sex with her because she had chlamydia and has HPV. So I really shouldn’t have been all that upset.
I kind of was and I kind of wasn’t. I kind of was because I felt betrayed. Princess always told me that she liked me so much that the sex didn’t matter. As long as she was with me, that’s all that counted because she was more attracted to me than any other man she ever met. I kind of wasn’t because, as I explained before, I told her we’d never have sex.
It’s the sneaky way she went about doing it that made me upset. It seemed slimy. It seemed covered-up. It seemed wrong. And I couldn’t have any more wrong. I wanted more right. So I ended it. On the 4th of July. At a bar. And Princess was crushed. I mean, how dare I end things for you having sex with two different guys behind my back? I must be crazy!
I went back and forth in my mind about 50 times before I finally decided that ending things that night was the right thing to do. Too much had been done. I couldn’t go through any more. I wanted her to be fulfilled too. Sexually, emotionally, physically, whatever. I felt I couldn’t give that to her, and that, obviously, other men could.
It was a very quiet ride home that night. Princess left her car at my house so I had to drive her back to get it. I could have and maybe should have made her walk, but I didn’t want that to happen. I was raised to do better. And that’s exactly what I did. The night of July 4th ended with Princess slamming my car door in my face and speeding off in her aunt’s Mustang, tires screeching and all.
Princess banged two different guys behind my back while we were going out all that time. Princess justified her actions by saying “It’s just sex. I was drunk. It didn’t mean anything.” In her mind, she thought this asinine justification made perfect sense. I thought it made everything much worse. I would rather her have said, “You’re not giving me sex, so I went out and got it goddammit! And I loved every minute of it, fuckface.” To me, that would have been easier on the ears.
I tried to convince myself that July 4th would be the last night I would ever talk to Princess. But, ultimately, that wasn’t the case. It started up again, and got even worse.
Check back for part V. I’ll put it up as soon as I can. This is a very emotional story and an incredibly long one for me to write, so I appreciate the patience.